hands down my throat
to get rid of the feeling
in my chest
or in my head
feeling like i'm dying
and it's too quiet
and they're all looking at me

why can't i just be perfect like you, god?
their eyes undressing me, mom
you should hear what they say
about girls like you
with ambition
like yours

they don't know the fucking half of it
i will reclaim my anger for the last time
and accept this for the first
they're inebriated, and i'm a writer
words won't stop until the ink runs through my veins again

i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me
i love this so much, i will let it kill me

and i will run like a girl
until my body gives out
and is eaten by this soil you claim is yours
let me get swallowed by this earth
and be remembered as
good